Big Steps, Baby Steps in a Multiculti Marriage


A lighter moment, against the backdrop of the NYT’s account of the tragic effects of Nigeria’s new anti-gay law

Me: I saw X and Y Friday; they say hi.

O: Ah, we should’ve invited those guys to our Nigerian party.

Me: No way – the very next day your relation was in all the papers supporting Nigeria’s new anti-gay law!

O: I just think it’s time for people to face their fears. When I first arrived from Nigeria, I was homophobic, because I hadn’t been exposed. Nigerians need to learn how to deal with it.

Me: I agree, but I don’t feel comfortable inviting friends over if we can’t guarantee that someone won’t say something – or shake a bible over them.

O: If that happens, I don’t have any problem taking someone aside and asking him to leave.

Me: You’d throw a member of your clan out of your house? For real?

O: Oh yeah! And there’s no coming to The Back. In fact, I’m gonna start telling my people – don’t drink and come out to the back patio and start muttering about “Effing gays.” I’ll tell them, “This is a multiracial, multi-ethnic, multi-gender…what else? Multi-orientation household! No room for hate.”

Me: Wow, I married the best Nigerian ever!

O: And I married the best … what are you? The best Nordic-Igbo!

Me: Yeah, about that. What’s up with all the Igbo jokes your people make?

O: Uh, no time. I’ve got to go to work, my sweetheart!

Where do you stand / sit / roll around?

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