O (goes downstairs): Sh*t!
Me: What happened?
O: I fell asleep last night and forgot to come down and turn off the lights. I guess that throwing a big party is more exhausting than I thought.
Me: Or than you believed when your wife warned you.
O: Sh*t! Sh*t!
Me: I’m still right.
O (comes upstairs): Sorry, that second sh*t was literal. The cats. All over the place. I cleaned it up.
Me: Thank you! For cleaning up sh*t and being so patient. Amalinze’s arthritis must be bothering him. I’m sorry.
O: Oh, you’re welcome. Besides, I just had a birthday, which makes you think. When I’m old and in a diaper, now you’ll know what to do.
Me: Yeah. Call your sister the nurse and ask for the recommendation of a good nursing home. One staffed with Nigerian immigrants.
O: Ha, crazy girl! That’s a good one!